Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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