Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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