Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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