i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
