so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
