What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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