And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
