used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
