it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
