...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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