i think my tv is drunk
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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