Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
