yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There's even glitter on my cock...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
