my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
