College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
