WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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