honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
