watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
