I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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