I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
