I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
