You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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