you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
