I hate your face
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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