How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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