I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
