We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
