drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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