ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
