I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
