So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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