i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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