Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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