Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
