the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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