I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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