i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Randomize
