Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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