these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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