Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
