Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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