I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i barfeds in our rink
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
