thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
