Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
