dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
