benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
