whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize