Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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