well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
