Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
