We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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