I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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